last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you will always have a special place in my vag
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
