Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize