I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
