Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
