god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
