ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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