I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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