Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
