is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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