she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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