He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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