remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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