Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I love you. Go after that dick
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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