you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
