he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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