I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
