carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
