oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
