It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
