I smell stomach acid.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
