i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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