do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
