at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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