i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
