I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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