jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine