He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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