cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?