TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going