I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me