when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE