My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
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i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.