Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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(802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic." http://tfl.nu/uvkh

Replies (60) Good night (5299) Bad night (1084)
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(509): View more from Washington

I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.

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(509): I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job. http://tfl.nu/4wpv

Replies (10) Good night (3699) Bad night (913)
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(607): View more from New York

My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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(607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su

Replies (7) Good night (3054) Bad night (922)
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(831): View more from California

No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.

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(831): No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone. http://tfl.nu/jc2m

Replies (6) Good night (1983) Bad night (1167)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

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(615): Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done. http://tfl.nu/9ur9

Replies (1) Good night (1699) Bad night (1130)
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(415): View more from California

Feeling better?

(720): View more from Colorado

I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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(415): Feeling better? (720): I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day. http://tfl.nu/80q2

Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (731)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles

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(612): I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/axk7

Replies (0) Good night (1165) Bad night (520)
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(281): View more from Texas

You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

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(281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq

Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (984)
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(210): View more from Texas

Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!

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(210): Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!! http://tfl.nu/6efz

Replies (10) Good night (592) Bad night (1205)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

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(336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick http://tfl.nu/8ojw

Replies (3) Good night (808) Bad night (356)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.

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(316): I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas. http://tfl.nu/msox

Replies (0) Good night (714) Bad night (397)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?

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(612): Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic? http://tfl.nu/ja2v

Replies (8) Good night (1104) Bad night (339)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.

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(609): So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/54rj

Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (405)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.

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(913): Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito. http://tfl.nu/fh2t

Replies (5) Good night (689) Bad night (336)
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(941): View more from Florida

I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.

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(941): I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night. http://tfl.nu/uguq

Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (292)

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