Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

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(814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e

Replies (27) Good night (4325) Bad night (1014)
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(586): View more from Michigan

he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...

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(586): he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement... http://tfl.nu/jgil

Replies (13) Good night (859) Bad night (5083)
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(303): View more from Colorado

other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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(303): other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do http://tfl.nu/c5r9

Replies (14) Good night (5764) Bad night (1352)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.

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(613): Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B. http://tfl.nu/8gac

Replies (22) Good night (1035) Bad night (6044)
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(904): View more from Florida

I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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(904): I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year. http://tfl.nu/isyi

Replies (4) Good night (3010) Bad night (1345)
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(518): View more from New York

I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.

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(518): I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice. http://tfl.nu/enx3

Replies (3) Good night (1512) Bad night (483)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.

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(240): Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9wdm

Replies (21) Good night (1152) Bad night (4989)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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(203): a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away. http://tfl.nu/13eg

Replies (10) Good night (2161) Bad night (741)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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(+44): Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome! http://tfl.nu/jhr8

Replies (2) Good night (1945) Bad night (423)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.

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(603): I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him. http://tfl.nu/nzef

Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (1114)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

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(256): I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership http://tfl.nu/f2mt

Replies (7) Good night (971) Bad night (480)
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(850): View more from Florida

Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.

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(850): Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win. http://tfl.nu/9m9y

Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (268)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..

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(604): I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them.. http://tfl.nu/ddtu

Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (463)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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(918): Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/f8tw

Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (395)
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(661): View more from California

Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.

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(661): Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion. http://tfl.nu/ee7l

Replies (6) Good night (1027) Bad night (253)

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