a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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