can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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