And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
