i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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