yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
