The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
