Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
