1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize