he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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