and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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