Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
