Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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