we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
