he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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