So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
