I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
