would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
