like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
