i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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