i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
