Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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