Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
