you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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