it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
