Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
