Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
