meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
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