Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
