My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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