He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
