I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
