its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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