come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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